Ego-trip Down A Dark Allie: December 2008

"Generation Me"
Supposedly, I belong to it. I'm smack dab in the middle of the birth year requirements (1970-1990) being born in 1986. But I won't take any of the credit, I'll leave that to my parents, their generational peers, and advertising. Yeah, I said it. I am going to blame all of my shortcomings on someone else, especially the convenient scapegoat that is the media; after all, I'm a generation me-er.

Here is my explanation to my previous statements of blame. My parents are boomers, therefore they came from families with multiple children and humble paychecks, like most during that time. Now that they are older, learned the importance of a 401k and buying safe stock, they have middle to upper middle class standings and want to give their 2.5 children everything that they couldn't have as a child. (Although unlike my parents, a lot of boomers have achieved this life for their child through accruing copious amounts of debt and second mortgages.) They want us to get all of the brand name clothing, the newest toys, the coolest cars, and a college education. We're having it handed to us so they can live vicariously through our happy-go-lucky childhoods.

The boomers are awesome about our selfish tendencies, most likely because the majority of CEO's of the corporations we frequent are boomers. I saw a commercial today for Wal-mart (of course) where the aunt of a generation me-er can never figure out what her niece wants for Christmas because she always changes her interests and styles. While auntie is talking it shows a tween girl sitting on her bed on the cell phone that she's probably had since age 6 while her room's decor keeps changing. She went through like 3 stereos, a plethora of posters (one was even an iTunes poster, which is so unbelievable because who would have an iTunes poster? "Yeah, iTunes is my favorite band. All their songs are so different! Like you're listening to rap and then all the sudden iTunes cranks out some sweet world music. Loves it!"), and eight bed sets! All in one phone conversation! And while good ol' auntie is talking about what a bratty, fickle, brand-crazed niece she has, she just comically rolls her eyes and chuckles, "I'll just get her a gift card." Beautiful. She doesn't even care! She's totally cool with that lifestyle--she's even catering to it. Thanks for the gift card, Aunt Lisa, I hope you enjoy the weight of our actions on your shoulders! And Aunt Lisa just rolls her eyes and chuckles.

Generation X is probably the biggest enemy of me and my fellow me-hort, constantly complaining about our silver platter "plight". Oh, I'm sorry, we should have said no to our parents when they were offering up weekly allowances for doing nothing, college educations, and credit cards. But we didn't, so get over it.

And look at us now. We're the only ones buying anything out there! Well, with real money, I should say. You and your starter families are now getting foreclosed, laid off, and bankrupted in this recession while we're getting cheaper rent in the city. We're working as servers and retail associates with our fancy college degrees, but we're totally cool with that because we can still party and we have enough money to survive and then some. If it weren't for our narcissistic, consumer-whore qualities, this economy would have been down the drain years ago. You're welcome.

So, to recap--I was watching TV because I don't have any responsibilities and a Wal-Mart commercial came on and it reminded me about a guy at work calling me out about being in Generation Me, then I realized the boomers have a huge hand in it and we shouldn't be blamed and I also thought about how annoying the X'ers are, trying to make me feel bad about partying and having no savings, so I decided to write the above ramblings. And now Home Alone is on, so I've got to peace out and watch it because it, unlike Kanye West, is the voice of my generation.